Happiness is a much more universal goal, and there are many more ways that people persue it than a search for stability, influenced by biology. After a certain point the goal of just heaping up more and more wealth only interests those with a certain mindset. Yes, we all want stability, and to not stress over being able to afford things that we want, or want to provide for our children, like a good education. Then whether you are a decent human being, passionate about something, and able to care for others becomes everything.
There are billionaires who will go bankrupt this year. His wife is a 10 by ANY standards. He will still be one of the most open, genuine and passionate people I have ever known. And it is clear why his wife loves him. Wealth is not stability! If you think it is you are just kidding yourself. Actually most crime and murder is committed by the poor mostly amongst each other and the fastest way to help the needy is by not being one of them.
I dated recently with 22 year old girl — at first it was lots of fun, but after a couple of dates I got bored. I generally find women women in their mid-to-upper twenties the most attractive, too. Hey Nick, I am from India can you suggest some tips how to attract any women or seduce any women in Indian circumstances? Thanks Nick, This is a great article. It is one of the things that I have struggled with. I am 43 and make the most connections with women that are Women my age would look at me with disdain, I even had one woman my age spread a bunch of rumors about me regarding this female.
Reasons Why Single Women in Their 40s Should Try the “Cougar” Thing. At Least Briefly.
This deeply hurt me and I wondered if there was something wrong with me. This article got me to remember all my anthropology classes and this makes perfect sense. Women my age are kind of boring to me. I like to dance, love new music, technology etc. Sitting at home and watching TV are just not an option for me. I just feel I have more in common with younger women. Its not just a physical attraction thing.
I am not going to worry about it anymore. I like what I like and if she is consenting, like you indicated. Who really cares what anyone thinks, as long as we are happy in our relationship. There is nothing wrong with finding a something woman attractive. If you read Daring Greatly you will see that we all have our vulnerabilities. For women seeing an older established man with a younger woman has the ability to make many women very insecure. I have a great friend who is a 24 year old smoking hot girl. Thanks Mark for the encouragement.
I really never thought of it that way. I am going to pick up that book and read it. That the more vulnerable I am the more connections I make, when I act like everything is perfect or start to brag about my career etc.. I am in recovery and was talking openly about it to a younger woman at a retail store about, I got the feeling she was into me, but my insecurity about younger women and what people would think caused me to overlook getting her number.
I am going to stop judging what they may be looking for and just take some risk. What is life without risk….. For all of you older guys out there that date and hook up with younger women, do you ever sometimes get women your own age hating on you, taking shots at you for dating younger women? Its not just women our own age who are bothered. When I was 44 I had a 27 year old girlfriend who would get upset that the girl I dated before her was The girl I dated after the 27 year old was 41 and she was just jealous of all other women regardless of their age.
To be happy we all have to live the life we have, not the life we want. Nature gifts young women with the power of a sex appeal that peaks early and falls off more quickly. Nature gifts men with a long low curve. The 41 year old I dated was one of the most beautiful women I have known. She took great care of herself, and she won the genetic lottery by being tall, and having a beautiful face.
The truth is we all get handed a life that comes with strengths and challenges. These saying all describe a truth. I say enjoy being a guy, be genuine and honest with others. But most importantly be honest with yourself. Ignore haters, they are always there to bring you down. But where are they when you are down and need to be cheered up? I think he knew they were just jealous of us being together.
My husband is 22 years older than me. We met when I was 19 and he was I just turned When we first started dating, women his age were really rude to me. I never imagined marrying an older man or even dating one , but we were attracted to one another and it works for us. And to be honest, when I was 19 into my30s, women would snarl at me, make remarks or rumors, because men flocked me to me or gave me consideration. They still do, but to a lesser degree. It will always happen with you because I would imagine that you are beautiful and made a life with a man who appreciates you.
Because I met a guy recently who told me he did not get his very first girlfriend until the age of 31, despite being happy that he finally has a girlfriend, he told me he still gets jealous, envious of guys, men that had girlfriends earlier in their life. The men I met in my age group at that time could not keep a date, had dozens of girlfriends, stood me up if they had something more interesting to do and so on.
I had many boyfriends, but my steady guy wound up being a man 10 years my senior. He showed up when he said he would, opened the door, treated me with respect and made me feel relaxed and comfortable. He was also funny, smart, kind and loving. Obviously if a man is interested in having children he would want a woman of a suitable age.
And obviously if a woman is interested in having a child she would want a man of suitable means. All the rest is whatever makes you happy. This business about what is socially acceptable or not is a bunch of baloney. There are all types of couples out there of all ages and appearances. When I see couples who are happy together I am glad for them, regardless of their age, race, income or any such thing. Good for them if they are happy together. I found the comments and the article interesting however I have a tiny consideration which is missing.
People love who they love and should be open to the unexplored possibilities. Check out divorce rates — they are highest amongst the very poor, the very rich and those marriages with the largest age gap. Women who date older men trade in youth for success fair enough. Men who date much younger women trade beauty for brains and experience fair enough but most of these marriages do not last. AND guys please consider this. Women know aging can be tough but we want you to look great too!
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If you dated black date white if you dated asian date latino what ever there are many good looking people in the world who are also smart and loving who you would get along just fine with TAKE A CHANCE: Remember love is fragile — like friendship and people love is magical. The next time you are at a gala, the farmers market, a restaurant, the supermarket, the opera, the dentist: He is extremely smart, somewhat nerdy but great to be around, dates much, much younger women and seems really happy. He seems to really attract very young Asian women, and cycles through them so fast that I sometimes get their names confused.
Say in the age range They seem happy and he seems happy and they sure are sexy and fun to look at — I try not to ogle around my wife but still — and certainly very nice. Really want to leave him,because i get tired of having to look at his old ugly face and body,but the money is still here,also tired of having to pretending to love him.
I have to admit that i have always been way more attracted by older guys. My first boyfriend was 6 years older than me Which is for that age okay I think. Since we broke up I had enough time to travel, explore and meet new people. I look pretty mature for my age and am very outgoing and just a light hearted girl and never had any Problems to get to know people better. However it is always me approaching men no matter the age. Currently I am 21 and dating a 48 year old.
We are not together because of his money or my youth but it is honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me. We can Talk for hours, he is very spontaneous, open minded and makes me feel secure and Loved. He still thinks i am perfect. Guys my age told me to lose weight or get my tits done and so on. I just love being with him and enjoy every moment of it. We know each other for about 5 years and have always been friends. Turned out he felt the Same but was just too shy because of the huge age gap. As my username suggests?
I should just stand up for myself, and tell them to keep their opinion to themselves. It makes me laugh. Which one are you?
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I have stopped listening to what my friends and family think of age-old relationships. Even if they ended up disowning me. Enough said for now. Older men are so full of themselves, offering unasked advice, trying to impress you instead of being fun, trying to change you, causing me and a lot of my friends just stop dating men who are more then 2 years older.
Personally I started dating only younger guys 2 years ago and probably will never date an older guy again. Also we have the same reasons to date a younger guy as you have to date a younger woman. Younger guys are better looking, less bitter, more stamina and generally more fun. Also the ignorance of younger guys is sooo damn cute, it makes them more lovable.
Yes that is their inmaturity that is. I have a masters degree as almost all of my girlfriends and I work at the financing side of property development, even then older guys look down on me. Until the moment I tell what I make a year and then they get resentful. I own my house, a nice car etc. I just want a fun guy who can keep up with me, in bed, clubbing or traveling. So yes my current boyfriend is 5 years younger then me 19 and yes we are equal. As simple as that. I keep myself in good shape, have a full head of blond hair, drive a Jaguar convertible, own a small business, my home and know how to cook a nice dinner, what candles are for and Sinatra on in the other room.
I get told all the time that I look 20 years younger than I am. As for my preference for a younger woman, I also am a swirler. I, I, I, tends to bore her unless she asks about me. Still, keep it short. Sinatra sang a song that tells the story of my life and makes me feel a twinge of sadness.
I usual date guys around my age bracket. This is all just my opinion. Meaning if women liked younger men. I am 55 and really like younger women — like I do fancy women my own age too and everything inbetween but if I was given the choice it would be a young one every time. My sense of style has improved, because my years of chasing children are complete though I can still reproduce — my focus is more on me than on anybody else. Women flip out about younger women, because people are competitive and they know the best males will go for the younger, healthier, more attractive mates.
Hypocritically, the best females all flock to the best male mates—which are almost all alphas. So hearing the preaching from the old bags is doubly annoying and naive. So Nick, while I appreciate how candid you were in this article, I call BS on your comments about your personal preference.
Some women grow into their looks as well and go from cute to more stunning and feminine. As I am not preoccupied with reproducing and seek sexual and emotional intimacy as a means of truly sharing, I think this makes me and others like me more appealling. The 42 year old was one of my favorites. She was elegant, witty, acomplished, very sexual and drop dead gorgeous. We dated for almost a year.
What you see in magazines? What your church tells you to look for? Not the ytpe they would actually choose to date. I always lusted after the bikini model looking women. I needed to experience all there was to experience so I could choose. I still find a fitness model the most beautiful to look at. But as for someone I want to date, the softer more feminine body is a more desirable all around choice for me.
This same principal goes for personality, age, maturity level, intelligence, etc. Only people making either experienced or inexperienced choices. This is such a well written, insightful, and honest piece. Men should not be shamed for their natural desire to be with women much younger than themselves. I am often saddened when I watch my forty-something single female friends attempt to date. They have such a difficult time accepting that their window of attractiveness ended ten years ago and that they are wasting their time trying to find a partner.
However, I think once women learn to accept and live with this, and use their later years to focus on careers, hobbies, philanthropy, and the many aspects of life which are just as fulfilling as romantic relationships, the over forty female race will find themselves much happier. Older men who want younger women are not creeps. They are normal, and women just need to get over it!! I lift weights,swim,hike,love to swim at the beach……. I agree, for some couples, age really is just a number. If you have chemistry, you have chemistry end of. Taking your point of half your age plus 7, then take a 50 year old guy.
My maths tells me with that equation he should date a 32 year old. I think most guys are both realistic and practical, I think most guys like to stay in their comfort zone and be with someone who shares their own values and views on life, regardless of age,. For my opinion, girls are far better to marry a guy several years older. My husband is 22 years older and we have a wonderful marriage and 2 children. Results are a very high divorce rate. I guess my role model would be Kathie Lee and Frank Gifford.
She also was one happy girl who married a much older guy. I have always admired older men and men like my husband knows how to treat a lady. I am 36 years old often get mistaken for mids and recently had two men in their 60s express sexual interest in me. I felt very conflicted. I know that people of all ages find each other attractive. I know that men biologically speaking can father many children until they are in their elder years which is not always a good idea — studies show that older men have a greater risk of fathering children with developmental defects , whereas women are more bound by the role of being a mother.
These roles have changed quite a bit, however, and so biological arguments for attraction are more obscure than they might have once been. But I felt repulsed by their advances considering that the potential for a different relationship was there, and considering that I was caught totally off-guard by what I thought were friendships. An elder man CAN be a friend to a younger women, and can offer some of the things that more life experience has to offer, like insights into living life well or how to navigate financial matters or their understanding of happiness, etc.
Ooops, is this shaming? I suppose if you are reading this article you might be looking for justification for your preferences, and so, yes, maybe it is all about looks. Looks are superficial, right? I believe that our culture is so mixed up that we have no idea what love is, how to feel it, where to look for it, or how to engender love in another person that we are over-run with self-gratifying behaviours like dating people that make US look better and make US feel better about OURselves.
I m 66 she 32 she has 2 kids 13 and 12 and a dad no where to be found. She is very good looking and I go to the gym 3 days a week. She has made some poor financial choices I have to be careful it doesn t become about money. But I advise her how slowly she can get back on her feet. I love her and want us to work together so the kids are happy she has less stress in her life.
We are a team my friends can t believe someone who looks like that is with me.
It certainly is about money. We have a 26 year age difference. He is 49 and I am 23 and we are expecting our first child in July. Neither of us has any other kids.
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I am a 34 year old woman engaged to a 50 year old man. I was a biology major in college and to me it makes sense that men would seek out younger women. Women are only naturally fertile until around age 35, whereas men are fertile their entire adult life. Women, naturally, would be most sexually attracted to men when they have the most resources to take care of a child in our culture today that means financial resources. All hope is not lost. He may just be looking for companionship, someone with resources of her own, and someone who can manage a household. I am not physically attracted to men under 35 for some weird reason.
My friends and family know all about us. I completly understand This. Dont be afraid to go ask yorn women Out! Because I date a guy 1 year older than me. They are going to love you just because you date them…..
Some to prove that they can attract all males out there. I am a man age I was married for 20 years, most of them not good. I have met a much younger woman, that i have become very close friends with. Mind you I am not talking intimate friends, but we hang out together constantly. She is 20 years old, which makes her young enough to easily be my daughter. I go to her house and visit with the entire family. Her mom and dad are always making comments that we would make a cute couple.
We both assure everybody that its just best friends snd nothing else.
She has been throough surgeries stemming from a bad car wreck where she almost didnt live. I have been present with her at the hospital for countless hours, even sleeping there to make sure she gets the best care. Somewhere along the way I have fallen in love with her, not sure how it happenned but it did. She sends me cute little messages about love u and the sorts here recently. I am just not sure if she feels the same way that I do or not. How can a man let a woman know how he feels, without losing the ultimate friendship, if her feelings are not the same.
I keep in mind that her dad is 77 and her mom 58, but our age gap is much bigger. We have so much in common, same musical taste, food, love for fast cars, same type of movies etc. Would it even be fair to her to be stuck with a man whom will probably be old and wrinkled before she hits 40? I worry about her well being and happiness more than my own. So people tell me what your opinion is, you can even call me a pervert if you want, but I have never had children so it feels a little different to me. I always wanted children so bad, but my wife was unable to bear children.
Furthermore she wants children in a few years, would it be fair to kids to be born of a father who is say 55? I am 64 years old. I retired military veteran. My fiance is 30 years old. We have been dated for a year. I have been asked if I was her father, her grandfather, I just smile. I am so proud to be her fiance, soon to be married. She found me, I was not even looking for a woman at the time.
How Young is Too Young to Date?
Your heart makes the relationship! It is not healthy, and nobody should a. And when it comes to women, this article clearly articulates the reasons why being overweight would NOT be attractive to men. We are this way because ,million years of evolution have created us this way. As men, we are looking for beauty, which signifies good, healthy genes, followed by youth, and form, both of which signify the woman can successfully carry and deliver our baby.
This is imprinted in our DNA and is the reason we look for pretty, youthful, slender women with the right curves, meaning hips wide enough and breasts ample enough …. I totally enjoy being single and am not at all lonely. As for my preference of younger women, that does not include teenagers or women under 25 although many of them are mature and intelligent. Part of that is because I have a rep of being a friendly person. In most of my experiences with younger women, I have found that they enjoy being with someone who knows the world works and, that includes knowing how to treat a woman in ways that allow her to feel good about herself.
Those few who thinks I ought to waste away and croak have no affect in how I feel about myself and my life. Interesting article and even more interesting responses. For the record I am 60 years old and have been married 3 times to progressively younger women. First marriage was for 13 years and yielded my 2 sons, second marriage was for 18 years and established my financial security and business. I dated for awhile after my second marriage ended and found out many things about myself and women.
I used an online dating site that used a more advanced system of screening and has a large base of participants. It was quite enlightening to experience all that is out there when shopping for a mate. I have always taken care of myself, I am physically active and make most 30 year old men look unfit.
I am not nor have ever been a player, I respect and indulge my woman. Through the dating process I found that there is a disproportionate number of younger women seeking a older mate. A common thread was that many of these women were tired of the self centered, capricious behavior of their age similar mate.
I spent a fair amount of time researching this subject, I was amazed at how many unhappy marriages there are and at how long many people stayed in those marriages. I met some interesting ladies and rediscovered my sexual appetite. The results also showed that the creepiness rule is too restrictive about how old you can date when you are young, but becomes too lenient as you get older.
Yet, people surveyed were fine with John and Lauren seeing someone in their early 30's. When John and Lauren are 60, the creepiness rule allows them to date anyone older than themselves the official cap is However, society places more restrictive age limits of 71 and 75 respectively. Overall, the creepiness rule does not accurately represent what people find socially acceptable; people are more judgmental than what the creepiness rule implies. If the creepiness rule is wrong, then I needed a new rule to guide my non-existent love life.
As I reviewed the data, I realized that one rule was not enough. When it comes to dating older, women have the advantage. According to the survey, a 20 year-old John can date someone who is However, when Lauren is 30, she is supposed to date someone who is at least I not only created separate rules for men and women but also created different rules to determine how old and how young each gender can date.
The charts below compares the outputs of the revised rules with the predictions of the original creepiness rule. In almost all scenarios, the revised rules are more restrictive than what the creepiness rule would suggest. I think there are opportunities to build on this oh-so-important research.
What is the actual average age difference between couples? How would this research translate to same-sex relationships? At the end of the day, this article was about how people think, not how people should think. Look for relationships that just make you happy. If you enjoyed this article, you might also like:. Who is the Wisest Philosopher. The 6 Types of Billboard Hits.
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